Kornheiser's On The Clear AND The Cream...

Christ-like savior or just some dude who almost single-handedly killed the U of Michigan basketball program?

Did I hear Tony on today's show say that the combination of Iverson and Webber now gives the Sixers the 2nd BEST 2-MAN TANDEM IN THE NBA right after Shaq/Wade? Not best in the Eastern Conference, not best in the state of Pennsylvania, but in the whole freaking LEAGUE. Are you kidding me? Here's a list of 2-man tandems currently playing that are better than Iverson/Webber:

Arenas/Jameson, Kidd/Carter, Nash/Stoudemire, R. Lewis/R. Allen, Finley/Nowitzki, Yao/McGrady. Hell, I would even say that Baron Davis/James Richardson in Golden State is a better tandem.

Hey, much love for Philly, but relax people. You're still out of a playoff spot the last time I checked and y'all are behaving as if they should hand you the trophy right now.

The Fred Hickman Question

What? They couldn't find a darker photo?

Ever since Fred Hickman joined the cast of Sportscenter a few weeks ago, I've been going back and forth on whether I like him or not. At times, he provides a welcome voice of calm amongst the sea of otherwise smartass, Kilborn wanna-bes, but at other times, he's about as exciting watching reading sport highlights as Ben Stein on a fistful of qualudes.

What do you think of Sports Tv's most level-headed gentleman?

Employee #88

So 'Twoine's back with the Celtics, huh? Celtics fans that I know seem pretty giddy about the whole thing. Granted, the Eastern Conference is so awful that several high school girls teams could pick up Ruben Boumtje-Boumtje off of waivers and compete for first place.

It seems like a really risky move for Ainge. It's nice to send a message to the fans that you would like to compete, but at what cost? In dealing for Walker, Ainge is now Rodney Rogers away from having a team almost as good as the one that needed to be broken up 4 years ago. So what's your big plan, Danny?

I like Paul Pierce as a player. I think he's got a lot of upside, but I am completely unsold on his character. I don't think he'll ever be a team leader and I can't remember ever seeing him will the rest of his squad to win a game. He'll occasionally hit a big shot, and now with Walker sucking up posessions, may turn back into a great role player.

We'll see.

Going Bigtime

'Korny and Bon' (their old vaudeville names) were on The Late Show with David Letterman last night, and despite being somehwat out of their element, I thought carried themselves very well. They actually reminded me a lot of when Siskel and Ebert used to come on talk shows way back in the day.

Kornheiser further proved that he is the funnier of the two. At one point, Wilbon was trying to blame parents for teenagers that start using steroids and Tony went off on him and Dave. "Blame the parents? What's wrong with you? I'll just blame myself!". That and recounting how the city of Jacksonville wanted to sue Kornheiser because of statements that he made about how they have the highest number of 'Hooters' per capita were pretty funny.

The only thing that was kind of disturbing was Letterman's (and I'm sure most of the country's) view that the whole Steroids in baseball controversy is really a whole lot of fuss over nothing, and that in the end, who cares if the entertainment's good. There wasn't enough time for a proper debate on the subject, so I doubt very much if anyone who didn't see it as a crisis before had their mind changed.

When Good Things Happen To Bad People

Listen up kids! In order to get exactly what you want, all you've got to do is be a felon and a whiner. Threaten to demand a trade every day, pick fights with your teammates, and for godsakes, never ever think before doing anything. After all, you don't want to get a reputation for being a good guy, they suck!

Gee, how did I guess that Little League World Series MVP and Canadian Football legend Reggie Fowler was lying a few days ago when he said they had no interest in dealing Randy Moss?

I can't hear you Barry, I'm too busy staring at your shrunken testicles

Remember, he owes it all to Flax Seeds!!!

Not So Loveable Losers...

First they auctioned off the ball, then they blew it up. Now, some jackass in Chicago has taken the blown up bits of the Steve Bartman ball and cooked it into spaghetti sauce for people to eat. When is this going to end, you pathetic Chicago losers?

If I pick up a paper or turn on the TV and see that someone is auctioning off the bowel movement of the guy who ate the ball-sauce, it wouldn't surprise me at this point.

Heh heh, I said 'ball-sauce'...

Words Don't Do it Justice

Based on the discussion on today's show, I watched the halftime show of yesterday's NBA allstar game on NBATV today.

Just so I'm clear and wasn't hallucinating, that WAS a country band with a dancing midget with a rapping black cowboy alongside a guy wearing a confederate soldier outfit, right?

I am in shock, having just witnessed the single most awful thing ever to be presented as 'entertainment'. Not only a big middle finger to whoever green-lighted this, but a big middle finger to everyone in Denver, Colorado for not rushing the stage and beating 'Big & Rich' within an inch of their lives.

The Year Was 1980...

Kenny Loggins was, according to his music, 'alright', Buckner and Garcia diagnosed the first case of Pac-Man fever, and a young Al Michaels taught the nation to gloat, beat their chests and chant "U.S.A.".

If there's one thing I learned watching Sunday's special PTI pregame to the re-showing of USA v. USSR Olympic hockey match, it's how hyped by hindsight this game really is. To hear most people talk, you would think that the entire nation came to a screetching halt to see if those plucky U.S. college kids (mostly drunk punks from Boston) could defeat the Russian hockey machine, whose squad consisted mostly of super-intelligent hockey playing cyborgs.

Even though I was only 10 at the time, I have memories of it being a big event in the days that followed it, but I've always been curious why so few people seem to have stories of seeing it live. Well the answer, as it turns out, is that it wasn't shown live, but instead on tape delay (probably because the games were in the foriegn city of Lake Placid, and the time difference between there and here is quite a lot).

I'm still not convinced that it's as great a sporting event as most people seem to think, but instead just an excuse for jingoistic blowhards to try and prove that American pride trumps everything else.

In closing, Bah!!

The Future Mrs. Kornheiser

As Tony's infatuation with russian medical student (brains too?) and Marat Safin's current squeeze Dasha Zhukova spread from 'harmless mention' to 'construction site cat-calling', I, along with many others I'm sure, wondered if he had lost it. Had the sometimes quirky, but otherwise sensible co-host of PTI been reduced to a drooling old pedophile who occasionally gets picked up by the cops for driving too SLOW in a school zone?

It remains to be seen. But one observation I can offer is, "Hubba hubba, Ah-OOOO-Ga! Daddy want some candy!!".

The picture was the only one I could find and doesn't do her justice.

You've Come A Long Way, Dude...

If marijuana was legal, and I owned a company that produced it, the first guy I would sign up to promote it would be Kyle Korver. Does this guy look like a heavy user or what?


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Last Ditch Effort

Help a brother out!!

Sign the petition to keep 'I, Max' on the air here!!!

What Does LeBron Owe You?

According to Wilbon and several others I've heard recently, Lebron James 'owes' it to you and the NBA to participate in the NBA slam-dunk competition. He has to 'be like Mike' and save the league by doing a wacky 360 degree dunk through his legs while on fire or something.

Nonsense! No one is ever going to 're-create' Jordan's career step-by-step. Lebron James is good, in fact, he's the most amazing overall player I've seen since Jordan, but trying to plug him into public relations stunts that worked 20 years ago is silly. When Jordan competed in the slam dunk competition, dunking was still kind of a novelty. Aside from Dr. J, the only people who dunked were big clumsy centers like Bill Walton who only dunked because taking a jump shot from 0 feet was still a little too risky.

But today, thanks to circus entertainers like Cedric Ceballos and Dee Brown, the dunk represents a lot more of what's wrong about the game of basketball than what's right. About halfway through most dunks, I start thinking of other things, "Where did I park my car?", "Did I leave the iron on?", "Oh, he made it. Good for him.".

Lebron owes the NBA nothing but the incredible team game he's brought back to the league. Showcasing his individual abilities is fun to watch for a few seconds, but really only represents about 10% of what he's got.

Red Sox Obsessed With Yankees?

This story seemed awfully high on the list of topics considering that I think it's nonsense. So Trot Nixon called out Alex Rodriguez making him the 50th member of the RedSox to do so. Big deal. I doubt very much that Nixon ran up to reporters and said, "Oooh, oooh, interview me! I got smack I wanna talk about A-Rod!". I'm sure that just about every interview with any player or batboy or ticket-taker for the RedSox starts off with the question, "So how 'bout A-Rod and the Yankees?". If he had said 'no comment' or 'I don't want to discuss the Yankees', today's big story would be how afraid Trot Nixon is of the mighty Yankees.

Once sportswriters stop forcing this issue on the RedSox, I predict that they will magically stop 'obsessing' about the Yankees.

DAP???

If you're like me, you've spent the last several months watching PTI and saying to yourself, "What in the damn hell damn heck damn devil is 'DAP'?".

According to several 'hip-hop' dictionaries, DAP is short for 'Dignity and Pride' and is actually from the '70s. 'Gimme some DAP' is shorthand for 'Gimme some skin' or 'Give me a high-five my soul brother'.

Any way you break it down, it points out how truly in touch Wilbon is with the hip-hop culture of today. Look for him to break out the Freddie 'Boom Boom' Washington-isms by the middle of the year.