Monday, October 31, 2005

You want me to say it? Here it is...

My beloved Red Sox are screwed.

Now that Theo has walked away, what are the chances that the Sox will make all the right moves in the off-season? And now with Manny asking for out? -And with Johnny Damon a free-agent? I hope the euphoria of 2004 lasts a long, long time, because I fear that we won't see a championship for a while (again).

Like TK pointed out today, unless you get Albert Pujols, there's no way you're gonna get fair value for Manny in any trade. So who's gonna broker that deal now?

Saturday, October 22, 2005

Clarification please...

The NBA is mandating that their players dress up in an attempt to improve their image, but when 49er coach, Mike Nolan, asked the NFL if he could wear a suit on the sidelines, they told him he couldn't, saying he has to wear official NFL-logoed attire.

So the NFL wants their coaches dressed like tools rather than Tom Landry?

btw, Check out this picture of Landry dressing down.

Friday, October 21, 2005

What A Slap In The Grill!!

Then again, it is Sports Illustrated.

SI's NBA preview picked the Golden State Warriors to finish with the 12th (that's right twelfth) best record in the WESTERN CONFERENCE. Behind the Lakers, behind the Timberwolves, even 3 spots behind the Utah 'freaking' Jazz.

Maybe I'm being overly optomistic, but there's no way in hell that the Lakers add Kwame Brown, an 18-year old draft pick and a coach who's only there for the money and finish ahead of Baron Davis and a cast of players that's improving at a geometric rate.

And Minnesota? Did they make some huge move that I'm not aware of? Did LeBron and Dwayne Wade sign there in the off season? I've always liked the T-Wolves, but brother they are going to stink this year.

My other favorite picks of the braintrust over at SI;

- Nuggets finishing 2nd in the west

- Celtics finishing 11th in the east

- Sacramento 6th in the West

It is to laugh. Do us all a favor, SI, and put Kobe Bryant on the cover every week from now until the all star break...

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

He's a good player?

In response to Tony's insistence that Ron Artest is "a good player", T obviously has never played fantasy basketball. Ron Artest, if he stays instated in the league, is a fantasy god-send! Points, rebounds, assists, steals, blocks -almost as good as The Matrix, Shawn Marion (another fantasy god-send). Face it, Artest is an all-around player, even if you hate him!

Seriously, if you have a chance to take this guy towards the end of your fantasy first round and don't, you're an idiot. Sure, maybe he'll get himself in trouble again, but if he plays the whole season, you know you're going to make out like a bandit.

So talk all you want about the non-basketball aspects of his personality, if it's hoops you're interested in, the guy is solid.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Stroke Me Stroke Me... Stroke!! Stroke!!

I'm not sure if I understand what the 'controversy' is surrounding Teddy Bruschi's decision to come back to practice this week.

I've heard several commentators insinuate that he's 'taking a risk', and that 'this could end tragically and I don't think I would be willing to put my life in my hands like that'.


Basically, people are treating this like it's a knee injury or that he's got some bizarre Reggie Lewis/Eddy Curry heart condition. The last time I checked, no one in the history of the world ever had another stroke because he was hit too hard or ran too fast. What exactly are these people afraid will happen? Do they really think that an offensive lineman is going to chop block him and that Teddy will shout out, "Blood Clot!!" and lose all sensation in the right side of his body?

C'mon now, the doctors have cleared him, he feels no ill effects and is back in shape. There's no reason NOT to let him play. Am I supposed to believe that another 8 months off will give his blood time to 'not clot' or his arteries a chance to 'not close up'?

Welcome back Teddy...

Friday, October 14, 2005

Employee #8 vs. Pau Gasol's Beard

A few random thoughts while watching the preseason matchup of Heat v. Grizzlies (Yeah, I know there's a 'playoff' baseball game on, but it's basically the racist white jerks of Orange County vs. fairweather Cubs fans like Wilbon who are suddenly in love with the 'pale hose', so who cares?)

- Hakim Warrick is the shit. In 10 years, people won't wonder how a team with Carmelo Anthony and Warrick won a NCAA championship, they'll wonder how any team playing against them managed to come within 40 points.

- Jason Williams is still an idiot. Sacramento will eventually look like geniuses again for giving up on the biggest show boat since the Pacific Princess.

- Gasol's new beard rules. How do you say "rugged, Dan Haggerty-esque motherfucker" in spanish?

- Damon Stoudamire's a Grizzly? Let's just hope that Darius Miles is able to FedEx him a weekly 'care package' from the Pacific Northwest.

- The Heat have too many players. James Posey could be THE man on half a dozen other teams. He'll be lucky to get 10 minutes a night on this roster.

All Dickau All The Time...

Your 2005-2006 Boston Celtic!!

Nice of Dirty Dan Dickau to get a Boston meat-head haircut to go with his new address. Wassa matter Dan, afraid your 'emo', Spokane Washington hairdo would get you the 'Dee Brown' treatment by Celts fans?

Check out the transcript of an online chat the Dickster had with the fans right here.

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Happy Holiday, Tone!

In the words of Krusty the Klown, "Sandy Koufax? I lost 10 grand when he wouldn't pitch on Yom Kippur! -I did five shows that night!!"

In Tony's absence, I'd like to commend him on something he tried to explain to Wilbon yesterday: "When you live in a city with two teams, you pledge allegiance to one, and HATE the other!"

In most places outside Chicago, people understand this. USC and UCLA fans understand. Yankee and Met fans understand. So do Giant and A's fans. Hell, this is absurd even to Harvard and Yale fans!

So hats off to Jerry Reinsdorf for denying John Cusack, a devoted Cubs fan's request for White Sox playoff tickets. I hear ya, Mike, when you say you and JC are just trying to support the city, and maybe having gone so long without a championship might send you to the other side, but changing horses so easily flies in the face of legitimate sports etiquette.

If I was Mike, or Cusack, I'd also want to go to the games, but would never don a White Sox jersey or make a weasel plead for tickets in the process. In fact, I might even go in disguise. Have some back-bone, guys!

  • What's up with Bill Platske's eyebrows today? I've dyed my hair and beard in the past, but not just my eyebrows. He looks like a cult recruiter.
  • I know you all need more Golden State Warrior coverage, and believe me, it's on the way. In the meantime, how 'bout this: Warriors.

Monday, October 10, 2005

Tony, Whatever will you do?

BREAKING NEWS: Fox Sports puts Tim McCarver and Joe Buck on 24-hour suicide watch following the Yankee loss tonight. Fox broadcasting released this statement:
"We're all very disappointed that the baseball season had to end so soon, but our prayers are with Tim and Joe and their families. We can only hope the medication is effective and they both pull through this truly dark time in American history. One would assume, after the tragic events of 9/11, the Yankees deserve a better break than having activist umpires decide their fate, but that's just the cross we bear, kinda like Jesus Christ."
It's true, I'm an unapologetic Red Sox fan because of my geographical upbringing, but I greatly improved my quality of life by moving to California 15 years ago. So truth be told, I'm a Californian now. If I had a kid, I'd want him to be a Giants fan.

So, yes, I am upset that the Sox got swept by the Sox, but couple that with the Yankees elimination tonight and here's a situation all of us out West love, watching the old, obnoxious East coast baseball fans tune out because they don't get their beloved Sox/Yanks series (I'm lookin' at you, Kornheiser!).

Aye, since I got a horse in the race, I wouldn't be complaining if it came down to the Sox and Yanks, but as a baseball fan, since it ain't gonna happen, I'm not putting my head in the sand and listen to over-rated Billy Joel CDs simply because the games are broadcast "passed my bedtime". Hell, being the night owl that I am, I used to love watching West coast games that start at 10:30 back east!

So, to hear Tony boast about how he'd rather go to bed than watch games out West, presumable because that's how you act when you're old, is absolutely pathetic. The only conclusion one could draw is that Tony likes the Yankees, but not baseball that much. -Which would be fine with me, but he's supposed to be a sports-writer, so "passed my bedtime" is just unacceptable. Hey, TK, guess what? -The Angels/Giants World Series, one of the lowest rated World Series' as far as television ratings, was great. I hope you got to check it out on DVD.

I understand there are more sportsfans on the East coast, and that people out West are more apt to go out and play sports than watch sports, but the way ESPN has basically dropped back and punted the large West coast markets is absurd. -Even from a purely capitalist perspective!

Los Angeles, although it doesn't have a football team, is a HUGE market. The Bay Area is a HUGE market. Greater Seattle and Vancouver - HUGE! I only hope that someone comes along and capitalizes on the ignorance of outdated East coast thinking like the way that rap mogul Russell Simmons (Google search, Tony) admitted that he was happy to get rich by promoting hip hop, which the old recording industry guard completely underestimated.

Let's face it, ESPN has been getting worse for a while now, and I'm not merely referring to watching a self-amused Stewart Scott drag out the same old tired catch phrases for the millionth time. We're only 4 games into the NFL season and I'm already sick of hearing Sean Salsbury shout out his "analysis", like his point is somehow more sound the louder he yells it. Know what else sucks on ESPN? Dream Job. Lee Corso. Lou Holtz & Mark May. Dick Vitale.

In addition to all that, ESPN's West Coast abandonment has been a lingering problem for a while now. Even though it's mildly cute to see Wilbon berate Tony for his Sox/Yanks ego-centrism, what kind of counter-point is that? -Chicago? As far as ESPN is concerned, the St. Louis Cardinals must be the voice of the west.

Case in point: PTI airs on the East coast as the lead-in for their post-work 6PM SportsCenter, probably their highest rated SC broadcast. Does ESPN hold PTI until 5:30 to take the same ratings advantage out West? Hell no! PTI airs out here at 2:30! How weak is that? I can't figure out if it's due to common laziness or just pure stupidity, but whoever's doing the programming is an idiot.

There's plenty of ratings money to be made out West but they act like they couldn't be bothered. That's why, NO ONE in the Pacific Time zone knows the names "Tony Kornheiser" or "Mike Wilbon", unless they have Tivo. -Which is tragic, because (obviously) I love those guys and they've got so much potential, but don't seem to care about sports outside their hometowns. Way to phone it in, guys!

That's why, even though I've always hated USC, I couldn't be more behind Matt Leinart and Reggie Bush, because watching Tony and Mike pretend like they actually watched their games is so amusing! Also, an Angels/Cardinals or Astros World series would probably be another great low-TV rated series (order your DVD now, Tony).

Finally (take note, gentlemen), even though my Sox are out and I won't get the Sox/Yanks ALCS, I will continue to watch baseball. I know, it's incredibly radical thinking, but don't be afraid. Even though I picked Houston to win it all, I'm hoping the White Sox take the crown, pronouncing the Cubs the undisputed, ultimate all-time losers.

I love you, Wilbon, but watching an admitted Cubs fan trot out his Chicago South-Side upbringing whenever he wants to seem tough, it pretty pathetic. Why someone with obvious Chicago street cred would want to align himself with the yuppie post-
collegiate frat party that is Wrigley field borders on mental illness.

Sunday, October 09, 2005

Too True...

Since the NBA pre-season is upon us, here's a reminder of all that's nice in the Association...

Pro Athlete Lauded For Being Decent Human Being

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

More Training Camp

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Defending against MP.

From Warriors training camp:

French defensive specialist Mickael Pietrus told the media yesterday, "I've been here for now three years and it's time to see the real MP." (I think that stands for Mickael Pietrus.) "I don't need to start, I need to finish the game. People watch on TV the games, they don't watch the first quarter, they watch the fourth quarter. And when the game is tied and you make (the) big shot? Now you'll see who's the real player."

Hey, I love the Warriors, and am looking forward to them making the playoffs this year, but someone has to let MP know that just because he an Tony Parker came in third at the European Championships this summer, it hasn't changed the end-of-game Hierarchy in Oakland.

It still looks like this:
  1. Jason Richardson
  2. Baron Davis
  3. Derek Fisher
  4. Mike Dunleavy
  5. Troy Murphy
  6. MP, maybe Ike Diogu
So unless they start letting 6 players in at once, looks like MP will have to continue to watch crunch-time from the bench. But I like your spunk, kid!

Also from Warriors Media Day, check out this photo of Dunleavy, part of a new promotional campaign:

Monday, October 03, 2005


Of course I'm happy that the Red Sox made it into the playoffs. Yes, I'm hoping for another thrilling Sox/Yanks ALCS. And of course, I hope that the Sox can repeat as champions.

With that said, there is absolutely no way, I'm putting money on any other team to win it all than the Houston Astros. Everyone says pitching wins in the post-season and last year the Sox were built for the playoffs. Hell, having Pedro and Schilling as your one-two pitching rotation, in a 5 or 7 game series, practically ensures that you'll win. So the Astro rotation of Clemens, Petitte and Roy Oswalt, is clearly the best threesome of all the playoff teams. -And Lance Berkman is on fire to help their offense cause.

So I hope I'm wrong. I hope that the Red Sox bats can overcome all the runs that their rotation inevitably gives up. I hope Ortiz and ManRam just tear the ribbon off the ball, and that Schilling, Wells, Clement and Wakefield pitch their hearts out, but if the regular season is any indication, our best chance is to out-slug everyone. So swing away!