A Few Quick Notes...

Wilbon is no Amazing Creskin (Roddick will win the U.S. Open? The NY Giants will make the playoffs?)

Kornheiser has taken more days off than President Bush this year.

It's been at least 2 weeks since they mentioned Larry Brown. A new personal best.

Without the T.O. scandal, this would've been the dullest past 3 months in sports history.

When In Oakland...

Oh Randy...

I can imagine that Randy Moss has been getting really jealous over all the press that T.O.'s wacky cash grab has been garnering of late, so I suppose it was just a matter of time before he reminded us that there's more than one stupid loudmouth catching footballs in the NFL.

Look, lots of people smoke weed, LOTS, but the difference between a casual toker and someone who's smoked so much that they lack the ability to think even the simplest things through is that most weed smokers know better than to walk into work and tell everyone they run into that they're putting Bob Marley to shame with the amount of hippie lettuce they suck into their lungs.

Don't worry Randy, we weren't going to forget about you if you didn't step up and say the one thing that would steal the headlines away from Terrell and his goofy agent. Perhaps next time you can just ask the press "What if the color blue to you isn't the color blue to me?" and keep them guessing.

Perhaps Moss and other fools like him should take a lesson from Tom Brady and admit something 'shocking' like that they've seen internet porn once or twice. That's just charming and the press eats it up. Telling everyone you smoke doobage like you're a roadie for Dave Matthews?? Not so much.

We'll Be Able To Tell Our GrandKids...

These are great times to be alive. In the future, people will form circles around us to hear us tell the story of the DUMBEST MAN TO EVER WALK THE EARTH. That man, of course, is Terrell Owens.

Here's a guy that six months ago could've gotten the Rocky statue plowed over with a bulldozer and had one of him put up in its place. Hobbling out there like Willis Reed, and unlike Willis, actually making a contribution to the game. The only reason they didn't rename Philadelphia 'T.O.-Ville' is that they went up against a slightly better team and lost. But anyway, the point is, few people will ever have that kind of Capital (especially in a city like Philly).

Well congratulations Terrell. In a matter of 4 months, you've managed to turn 'superhuman sports hero' into 'complete and total asshole' who's about as welcome in Philly right now as West Nile Virus.

At this point, the Eagles have no choice but to 'Keyshawn' this jackass. Set up a nearly impossible set of 'rules' that T.O. has to follow (In Owens' case, just throw in a rule that he can't act like a retarded 3 year old), wait for him to break one and then simply suspend him without pay for the rest of the year. No trades, no negotiations, no cutting, just sit him on the bench and let him cry like a bitch for the whole year.

In fact, I'd love to see the Eagles ride out the rest of his contract (7 years) doing this. Even if he becomes a model citizen, just sit him on the bench. Put T.O. in the position of having to retire and sit out a year if he's ever going to play again. Owens and Rosenhaus have been approaching this entire process as if they hold all the cards. The Eagles should step up and show Drew and Terrell that not only do they not run the National Football League, but that if they did, it would've gone out of business years ago.

Go Eagles!

Attention Nascar Whiners

No matter what sports show you're watching, whether it's PTI, Around the Horn or 'This Week in the LPGA', they seem to be inundated with letters from Nascar fans wanting to know why their beloved sport doesn't get more coverage. After all, it's more popular than golf, so why does golf get so much run?

The most obvious reason is that there's no story to Nascar. Once you've described which guy won because he avoided crashing into anything and managed to keep his right foot pressed up against the gas pedal better than the other guys, you're pretty much out of drama. There's no trades to discuss, no coaching changes, no draft, no nothing. Apart from changing sponsors or occasionally watching the gear-head crews try and beat each other up, what more is there to discuss?

So please, Nascar dads, enjoy the fact that you're silly left turn only excuse to advertise Tide Laundry detergent is doing so well. Just quit trying to get people not named Clem or Scooter to talk about it.

Stop Coddling Him!

Let's get one thing straight that is a FACT. If Rafael Palmiero was black, this story would be over already. He'd be out of the Hall, out of baseball and about as popular as O.J. But because Raffy's got those Thomas Magnum good looks and speaks perfect english and wagged his finger at Congress, everyone wants to believe that this is some kind of setup. Bullshit.

We now know that the type of 'roids that Raffy took aren't the kind that are accidentally present in 'GNC Weight Gain 5000'. It's not something that can show up in trace amounts in your Cheerios like Rat feces. There's only two ways you get this shit in your system, by ramming a needle in your ass or gulping it down with your morning Viagra. So quit spinning, Magnum. Be a man and admit that you're a selfish asshole.

I can't stand the hypocritical, 'win at all costs', 'If you're not cheating you're not trying' mentality that exists today. From Enron to baseball to the President of the United States, people are so goddamn jaded about how their actions affect their fellow human beings that they see life as a big con job, a series of opportunities to lie, cheat and steal your way to a fortune. If you get caught, you just shrug your shoulders and lie about it until no one cares anymore, and if you don't get caught, use your millions of dollars to treat everyone else like shit.

If this is ever going to reverse itself, a huge example needs to be made out of someone, and I vote that it be Raffy. Try and ram it through that moussed hairdo of his that when you cheat and lie, it harms other people, people who are trying to play by the rules and find out if hard work and determination really do pay off in the end. How many players has Palmiero knocked off of rosters? How many pitchers has he caused to lose their jobs? How many opposing managers, GMs and coaches have his inflated statistics caused grief and humiliation? All for what? So Rafael Palmiero can make millions of dollars? Screw him. He deserves none of it.

If it were up to me, Palmiero would be subjected to every medical test and lie detector known to man to try and determine exactly when he started taking steroids. Once that was determined, he would be forced to donate every penny he's made since that date to a pension plan for older players that played the game clean. Leave him homeless for what he's done, dying under a bridge like JR Richard. Maybe then people will think twice before cheating.

I hope you never get in to the Hall of Fame, Raffy. In a hundred years, I hope people can barely remember your name, and then associate you only with being one of the selfish losers who put money and stats above the game and essentially ruined a whole generation of baseball.

How-EV-ah

Let me get one thing straight. I like Stephen A. Smith. I know some people hate the crap out of him, and I understand that. Same thing with Jim Rome. I'm not going to try and convince anyone that either one of these guys is great if the person I'm talking to thinks they're awful because I fully realize that these guys are not everyone's cup of tea.

That said, Stephen's show Quite Frankly has got to go. I find Smith compelling for about 3 to 4 minutes. If he's berating Greg Anthony or teetering on the border of yelling 'Shutup Cracker!" to Tim Legler, he's a treat to watch. But ONE HOUR??!! Who's genius idea was this? What are they gonna program as a lead in to this, a 3 hour loop of Sean Salisbury screaming at his reflection in a mirror?

And, even though they're buddies and all, talking (and I use the term loosely) to Allen Iverson for 45 straight minutes might be the single most unwatchable thing that anyone's ever put on television. I've got a better chance of transcribing a debate between Lil' Jon and Master P than piecing together what The Answer just said about Larry Brown.

I would give this show about 3 weeks, but if they haven't cancelled Cold Pizza yet, it's clear that along with the rest of the country, the execs at ESPN aren't watching either.