I Am Freaking Kreskin!!

Let me just take a second to make a really bold prediction about Monday's show; Wilbon will not be able to stop talking about how great the goddamn Chicago Bears are. Yes, those Bears, the 'beat up on the the single worst division to ever play pro football Chicago Bears', the 'Kyle Orton, Thomas Jones are the cornerstone of our offense' Bears, the 'Brian Urlacher is our 4th best defensive player and his only claim to fame is tapping Paris Hilton' Chicago Bears.

They will spend very little time on the 'Best record in the NFC Seattle Seahawks' however, and will continue to come up with brand new bullshit ways to discredit what is essentially a really good team.

I look forward to seeing it.

Today's Show Is Sponsored By East Coast Bias...

Sweet Jesus on a popsicle stick! Could there have been any more east coast bias than there was on today's show?

Let's take it point by Eastern Standard Time-zone point, shall we?

POINT #1: Tony's inability to give the Seahawks any Dap at all. So what, so they've got the best record in the NFC, so they've manhandled just about everyone they've played in the last 9 weeks. I guess you can throw all that shit out the window because the 49ers ALMOST tied them last week! Even your BOY Ron Jaworski tried to convince you otherwise, but you couldn't possibly afford the same luxury you apparently gave the Tampa Bay Buccaneers (who got CREAMED by the 49ers two weeks ago).

POINT #2: The answer to the question, "Did Reggie Bush lock up the heisman after amassing more than 500 yards of offense last week?". Not Really because hardly anyone saw it? What kind of bullshit response is that? I'm guessing that philosophy classes on the east coast involve statements like, "If a tree falls in Los Angeles California and 8 million people hear it, and another 40 million people in the same time zone hear it too, does it make a difference since it's 2AM where WE live and hanging on to the outdated non-information age thinking that we're clinging on to is all we have in the whole world. Does it then make a sound?"

POINT #3: Wilbon sticking his head all the way up Vince Young's ass saying that the Houston Texans, 49ers, Packers or whoever have the #1 pick should take him instead of Reggie Bush just proves that he should never, ever, EVER be made GM of an NFL team. I'd love to hear his speech on draft day. "I know I just drafted Carr with the #1 pick two years ago and that the only reason he's not producing is because he's always on his back from getting sacked because our offensive line sucks, but I'm gonna take another quarterback. You know, someone in the Tommy Frazier mode, because, like Andre Ware, they always make good pros.".

POINT #4: As if they recognized their awful bias, they felt the need to point out the horrible injustice that University of Oregon is suffering by being ranked behind Notre Dame. Unfortunately, they did it with an air of, "Ehh... What're you gonna do?".

POINT #5: Not really related to bias, but what the fuck was Wilbon talking about when he decreed J.R. Ewing and the dopes from 'Dallas' as "the greatest prime time drama of all time". Look Wilbon, I know you're not really black, but do you have to rub our noses in it like we're a puppy that just shit on your birthday cake?

Thanks a lot Mike and Tony. Thanks for reminding me living in the largest state in the country, a state with a GNP larger than most sovereign nations, means absolutely nothing when all the sports media is huddled around the tri-state area like homeless people around a burning trash can.

Drew Rosenhaus Is Bad At His Job...

Sharks also eat license plates, boots, and are phenominally stupid.

Nothing was quite as embarassing as watching Terrell Owens' 'apology' yesterday. What he and his scumbag agent fail to understand as they blame the media, overambitous sportswriters, Michael Moore and everybody else in the world except themselves, is that their 'contrite' and 'shame-filled' begging for forgiveness came across as total and complete bullshit.

First of all, if T.O. has any true remorse, then LET HIM SPEAK. Anyone can read some half-baked prewritten statement containing false apologies like, "I'm sure sorry if stupid people misinterpreted my attempt at 'keeping it real' as insults. When I said that the Eagles sucked and that Donovan McNabb was a skirt-wearin', injury-fakin' poof, I only meant that in a good way.", but it takes an incredibly arrogant jackass to then step in for your client and wag your finger at the media and admonish them for ruining this poor man's livelihood.

If Drew had any interest in, a) representing his client and, b) helping his own career, he would've told Owens last year to shut the fuck up, play like he's capable and rake in ridiculous amounts of money in corporate and local sponsorships and before he knew it, they'd be taking the wrecking ball to the statue of Rocky and putting up a giant stone likeness of T.O. signing a football and giving it to some fan.

But no, instead Drew and Terrell naturally assumed that their collective egos were bigger than the Eagles franchise, bigger than all the other players combined, and indeed bigger than the NFL itself.

Best of luck in the future for Rosenhaus signing new clients, and best of luck to whatever desperately awful team tries to plug T.O. into their roster next season.