Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Norm Chad is an Idiot

I have to admit that I haven't thought much about Norman Chad until quite recently. He's pretty much a below-average L.A. sportswriter (the poor man's Bill Plaschke if you will) who lucked into a job as 'tournament poker expert', proving everyone wrong who asserted that there's no such thing.

Well, over the course of the last couple of days, Norman has found his way into my conscious by making some of the dumbest assertions this side of that fat black guy from Kansas City that ESPN keeps thinking I have some interest in hearing from. You know, Jabba the Whitlock or whatever the hell his name is.

Anyway, back to the 'much more hateable than Dan LeBatard' Norman Chad. Here's how he turned himself from 'annoying trollish figure wasting the pixels on my TV' to 'guy that I'd like to kick in the groin and would pay for the privilege of doing so';

1) Calling Jerry Rice 'possibly the best receiver of his generation'. Look, I'm no huge Niners fan or anything, but this is fucking assinine. Who's better Norm? Mike Quick? Mark Duper? Harold Carmichael? His main argument for stating this is that 'he played with Montana and Young'. If that were valid Norm, then why didn't Joe Montana make J.J. Birden the 'greatest of all time'. And to act like Jerry Rice would'nt have been as good as previous generation leaders like Lance Alworth and Fred Bilitnikoff (sp?) is dumber than dumb, it's stupid.

2) Next, Norm's pick for 'sleeper team of the year'. Let's just say it starts with 'A' and ends with 'rizona Cardinals'. Do I need to say anything else?

3) Finally, Norm's assertion that L.A. doesn't want ANY football team ever, so the New Orleans Saints can look elsewhere. L.A.'s insecurity really shows whenever local sportwriters say this. They got burned by a couple of greedy assholes (Davis and Frontiere) and now they're swearing off lovers forever. What wimps! I lived in L.A. when the Raiders were there and you LOVED them, just like you LOVED the Rams. So stop pretending that you're 'above' the NFL and just get a fucking team. Your stupid excuse that it allows you to watch more games on TV is just pathetic at this point (especially with the advent of DirecTV) so just stop it. Get a team, show some guts and root for it.

So, in conclusion, congratulations Dan LeBetard, you've been replaced. Norman Chad is infinitely more hateable and wrong than you could ever be.

10 Comments:

At 5:36 PM, Blogger Jeff said...

Indeed. Aside from winning Alan Dershowitz, sleazy lawyer look-a-like contests, Chad is worthless.

 
At 8:15 AM, Blogger CalvinPitt said...

As annoying as Norman Chad is, he still isn't more hateable than LeBatard. Norm is an Idiot, Dan is Evil, there's a difference.

And I really wish people would stop saying nice things about the Arizona Cardinals. They're going to jinx it. I figure Warner gets snapped in half in the 1st quarter this week. Of course, I wanted McCown to get more playing time, so I'm not totally against that. . .

 
At 7:37 PM, Blogger Amanda said...

I gotta say that Norm Chad is a great writer. He used to have a syndicated column that ran in the Saturday sports section where he would make picks for the Sunday games and offer up commentary on the teams. Hilarious stuff. I'd drink my coffee at McDonalds and just about fall out of my seat with laughter.

Norm was better as a "Five Good Minutes" guest. He would have all these crazy props and even though it was totally scripted, it was pretty funny.

 
At 7:04 PM, Anonymous bigboss said...

I agree 100% with the topic creator. Norman Chad is the biggest douchebag i have ever seen in my entire life. Couch Slouch is the biggest waste of space in my morning paper, and HE IS NOT FUNNY, get over it people, his lines aren't scripted believe it or not, he's just naturally not funny, have you heard him or read Couch Slouch. Plus the whole thing about the cardinals...never heard about that until now but this only adds about another 100% to my hatred of this guy. I'm glad to know that there are people who hate this guy cause i know there are a lot who worship him as a god...Pay the Man Shirley, this guy is a douche...PERIOD!

 
At 2:01 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Couch Slouch,Will Bill Belichick finally issue a true injury report for his AFC Pro Bowl squad?

 
At 11:31 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lighten up! He's a columnist that many people think is funny (myself included) and you take his commentary wayyy too seriously. If you don't like his stuff, don't read it or turn off the television.

 
At 7:10 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

the guy is certainly one of the biggest douches in sports commentary, hands down.

 
At 10:22 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Norman Chad's commentary makes the WSOP broadcast watchable. Funny guy.

 
At 4:36 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Norman Chad is very annoying, but Jerry Rice is OF COURSE ARGUABLY the generation's best receiver.

What? This is a controversial statement?? Give me a break. He's obviously ONE of them.

 
At 4:38 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sorry...I misread your point. I see you are now saying Jerry Rice is the greatest of ALL generations. I tend to agree.

 

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