Monday, April 04, 2005

Top Ten People I'd Rather Be Right Now

Drunk talk... sweet, sweet drunk talk...

In the spirit of 'no-spirit' April, defined by Jeff's last post, I've decided to list the Ten Drunkest People In Sports, Worldwide! If there's anybody more soused up than those listed, leave it in the comments.

#10 - Harry Redknapp, manager, Southampton Football club, English Premier League. Looks like he's actually been living in a tub of gin for about 10 years.

#9 - Jeff O'Neill, forward, Carolina Hurricanes. Gotta do something during the lockout.

#8 - Donte Curry, Detroit Lions LB. Fell asleep drunk while going to pick his kids up from school. Would be much higher if he was more famous or married to Arvydas Sabonis.

#7 - Larry Eustachy, former head coach, Iowa State University. Yeah, take my picture chugging this beer next to this 18 year old. I'm the smartest man in the world!!

#6 - Mike Price, current coach, UTEP. 'Too drunk to remember is 'always' a good excuse.

#5 - Rafael Furcal, shortstop, Atlanta Braves. Jesus Rafi, take a cab once in awhile.

#4 - Michael Phelps, Olympic gold medalist swimmer. To paraphrase Dean Wermer; "19, drunk and on the Wheaties box is no way to go through life son".

#3 - Sir Bobby Robson, former manager, Newcastle United. Just look at him.

#2 - Bob Huggins, head coach, Cincinnati. Hard to picture level-headed sweetheart Bobby on the sauce I know.

#1 - Broadway Joe Namath, sideline reporter, former legend. Oh c'mon. Could it be anyone else? "I wanna kiss you" will live forever.

Now I beg of you, go out and get loaded tonight. I know it's only Monday, but do it for those who can't do it for themselves!!

UPDATE: Jeff's picks-

Okay, here are three additions I'd like to nominate:
  • Vin Baker - Who tries to play professional basketball hammered? -Vincent does!
  • Jim Calhoun - What is it about Connecticut that makes people drink? I actually have never seen Jim sloshed, but I've heard first hand accounts of his love of the sauce.
  • Mickey Mantle - Can you believe they actually wasted a liver transplant on this dude? -Only to have him die a month later. I'd bet my own liver he had a drink to celebrate how well the operation went.
And these guys, too:

I've never heard of them being souses, but the photos say it all. Besides, when a Kraut and a Cannuck get together, you know some beer will be drunk (or spilled all over your shirt).

P.S. UNC is a two point favorite over Illinois in tonight's game. Prediction: You take those points, and then collect your money after the game.


At 1:00 PM, Blogger Mike said...

Toronto Rock coach Terry Sanderson

he looks ten times worse behind the bench

At 8:58 PM, Anonymous Darrell said...

That's former Seattle Sounder Harry Redknapp, by the way.

Is Boeheim drunk a lot? He doesn't look it, but that would explain things.

At 11:37 AM, Blogger Drew said...

Boeheim always seemed like more of a pot-head to me, like one of those older R.A.s that seduces 18 year olds with his stash of shitty weed he got off of one of his players.

At 1:13 PM, Blogger Mike said...

Is that Steve Nash? He looks awful. Not terribly different than he looks on-court, but awful.


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