Prediction Clearance Sale!

Time to purge my system of prognostications. Here's some things that are as guaranteed as the Syracuse/Wake Forest championship game:

NBA - West predictably comes down to Phoenix vs. San Antonio with Spurs winning in six. East pits the unlikely Celtics against the Heat with Miami sweeping. Spurs win in 7 with Manu Ginobili named finals MVP.

Hockey - Replacement players start next season. New York Rangers go an undefeated 25-0 before the real players come back and still miss the playoffs.

Australian Rules Football - Fremantle and Melbourne fight for top spot all season. Hawthorn continues its role as league whipping post. St. Kilda once again disappoints in the playoffs and Brisbane winds up winning for the 4th time in 5 years. Also, anyone reading this suddenly cares.

NBA Draft - Lakers get #1 pick, proving that the whole lottery is fixed. Bogut's brilliance creates huge demand for anything Australian. Paul Hogan is pleased.

Alright, enough spoon-bending mentalism. We now return you to your regularly scheduled plane of existence.