What's Up With Rachel Nichols?
Rachel's that new ESPN reporter that seems to be everywhere, kind of like Andrea Kramer used to be. They seem to ship her off to another empty stadium every single day to talk for about 30 seconds, especially if it's a Miami Heat game (there's even been speculation that she's stalking Shaqille O'Neal).
I recently read something that said they use her and Jay "Beefcake" Bilas a lot because of the whole HDTV thing, that her and Jay have really blue eyes that show up well on High Def. It's nice to know that in the future, all news and sports will be read by people that have haunting cat's eyes, hypnotizing me to subscribe to the INsider... Must...call cable company... tell them to carry ESPN-U..... Perhaps the days of Hypno-toad aren't as far off as we thought.
Oh well, she seems competent enough I guess, but what's up with the way she says 'ESPN'? It's almost like someone catches her in the mouth with a fish hook just as she's wrapping up each time, so she winds up saying, "Rachel Nichols, ESP-eahhhhN".
Speaking of Bilas, stay tuned as we buckle to public demand to lay off Jay-jay and instead focus all of our rage against Duke's biggest apologist, Billy 'Mrs. Redick' Packer.