Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Good Luck With Your Layoffs, Mariners. I Hope Your Firings Go Really Well.

What the hell's up with the Seattle Mariners? They run their franchise like 'Ini-tech' from the movie 'Office Space'.

I imagine that Bret Boone's 'assignment' went something like this;

BOB: Hey, remember that guy Brett Boone?


BOB: You know, big forearms guy, silly frosted tips.


OTHER BOB: Yeah, we can't actually find a record of him being a current employee here.

BOB: I looked into it more deeply and I found that apparently what happened is that he was laid off five years ago and no one ever told him, but through some kind of glitch in the payroll department, he still gets $15 Million a season.

OTHER BOB: So we just went a ahead and fixed the glitch.


MARINERS OWNER: So um, Bret Boone has been let go?

BOB: Well just a second there, professor. We uh, we fixed the *glitch*. So he won't be receiving a paycheck anymore, so it will just work itself out naturally.

OTHER BOB: We always like to avoid confrontation, whenever possible. Problem solved from your end.


At 1:22 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

just like olerud last year, this is the first step towards trading him. the m's will still have to swallow a ridiculous amount of his salary.

i'm happy they're conceding that lopez (last yr's starting SS) should learn on the job & be given a chance to claim that position for next year. boone wasn't helping them anymore.


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