Ainge Stole The Draft!! Ainge Stole The Draft!!!

This NBA Draft Review is brought to you by Yinka Dare, Nikolos Tskitishvili, J.R. Reid, Dennis Hopson, Kwame Brown and all the rest of the guys who 'didn't quite work out'.

Screw Indiana. Screw Charlotte and screw Memphis (even though they did get my man Hakim Warrick using some sort of voodoo at 19). The big, big, BIG winners last night were The Boston Celtics.

Not only did they get a guy who will be putting holes in the roof of the FleetCenter for 20 years in Gerald Green, they also got the steal of the second round in Ryan Gomes, a player that Jim Calhoun of UConn once apologized for not signing after Providence kicked the crap out of the Huskies a couple of years ago. Mind you, he meant that he wished he had signed him instead of some guy named Emeka Okafor. A freaking steal at 50 (are you listening Seattle Supersonics? Or are you not interested if he's not from France? ...dicks.).

And the Coup de goddamn Gras? I just heard today that the Celtics signed undrafted big white guy and personal man-crush of mine TAYLOR COPPENRATH. Now this team has everything, ridiculously athletic kids (Allen, Jefferson and Green), thuggish idiots (Ricky Davis and Mark Blount), big goofy lookin' white guys (LaFrentz and Coppenrath), and seasoned superstars (Payton, Walker and Pierce). What's not to like?

As for the big loser of the night? Aside from the Seattle Super-Croissants, the 'we need more stringy high schoolers' LA Clippers and the'trade down to 6 to take a player you could've gotten at 16' Portland Trial-babies, it's got to be a toss up between Mitch Kupchak's ongoing trainwreck formerly known as the Los Angeles Lakers and the Toronto power forwards, er, uh, Raptors. Charlie Villanueva? Dude was 4th best player on his team last year, and they weren't that good.

And lastly, evaluating which teams will actually improve as a result of their picks, I gotta go with Utah getting into the playoffs next year. If everyone on their team hadn't missed about 50 games each last season, they would've made it then. Now they've got a legit point guard and a big pissed off Russian in the middle. Make way for them and Golden State (I'm looking at you Sacramento and Seattle).

Dammit, why can't they start the next season now?