Monday, October 10, 2005

Tony, Whatever will you do?

BREAKING NEWS: Fox Sports puts Tim McCarver and Joe Buck on 24-hour suicide watch following the Yankee loss tonight. Fox broadcasting released this statement:
"We're all very disappointed that the baseball season had to end so soon, but our prayers are with Tim and Joe and their families. We can only hope the medication is effective and they both pull through this truly dark time in American history. One would assume, after the tragic events of 9/11, the Yankees deserve a better break than having activist umpires decide their fate, but that's just the cross we bear, kinda like Jesus Christ."
It's true, I'm an unapologetic Red Sox fan because of my geographical upbringing, but I greatly improved my quality of life by moving to California 15 years ago. So truth be told, I'm a Californian now. If I had a kid, I'd want him to be a Giants fan.

So, yes, I am upset that the Sox got swept by the Sox, but couple that with the Yankees elimination tonight and here's a situation all of us out West love, watching the old, obnoxious East coast baseball fans tune out because they don't get their beloved Sox/Yanks series (I'm lookin' at you, Kornheiser!).

Aye, since I got a horse in the race, I wouldn't be complaining if it came down to the Sox and Yanks, but as a baseball fan, since it ain't gonna happen, I'm not putting my head in the sand and listen to over-rated Billy Joel CDs simply because the games are broadcast "passed my bedtime". Hell, being the night owl that I am, I used to love watching West coast games that start at 10:30 back east!

So, to hear Tony boast about how he'd rather go to bed than watch games out West, presumable because that's how you act when you're old, is absolutely pathetic. The only conclusion one could draw is that Tony likes the Yankees, but not baseball that much. -Which would be fine with me, but he's supposed to be a sports-writer, so "passed my bedtime" is just unacceptable. Hey, TK, guess what? -The Angels/Giants World Series, one of the lowest rated World Series' as far as television ratings, was great. I hope you got to check it out on DVD.

I understand there are more sportsfans on the East coast, and that people out West are more apt to go out and play sports than watch sports, but the way ESPN has basically dropped back and punted the large West coast markets is absurd. -Even from a purely capitalist perspective!

Los Angeles, although it doesn't have a football team, is a HUGE market. The Bay Area is a HUGE market. Greater Seattle and Vancouver - HUGE! I only hope that someone comes along and capitalizes on the ignorance of outdated East coast thinking like the way that rap mogul Russell Simmons (Google search, Tony) admitted that he was happy to get rich by promoting hip hop, which the old recording industry guard completely underestimated.

Let's face it, ESPN has been getting worse for a while now, and I'm not merely referring to watching a self-amused Stewart Scott drag out the same old tired catch phrases for the millionth time. We're only 4 games into the NFL season and I'm already sick of hearing Sean Salsbury shout out his "analysis", like his point is somehow more sound the louder he yells it. Know what else sucks on ESPN? Dream Job. Lee Corso. Lou Holtz & Mark May. Dick Vitale.

In addition to all that, ESPN's West Coast abandonment has been a lingering problem for a while now. Even though it's mildly cute to see Wilbon berate Tony for his Sox/Yanks ego-centrism, what kind of counter-point is that? -Chicago? As far as ESPN is concerned, the St. Louis Cardinals must be the voice of the west.

Case in point: PTI airs on the East coast as the lead-in for their post-work 6PM SportsCenter, probably their highest rated SC broadcast. Does ESPN hold PTI until 5:30 to take the same ratings advantage out West? Hell no! PTI airs out here at 2:30! How weak is that? I can't figure out if it's due to common laziness or just pure stupidity, but whoever's doing the programming is an idiot.

There's plenty of ratings money to be made out West but they act like they couldn't be bothered. That's why, NO ONE in the Pacific Time zone knows the names "Tony Kornheiser" or "Mike Wilbon", unless they have Tivo. -Which is tragic, because (obviously) I love those guys and they've got so much potential, but don't seem to care about sports outside their hometowns. Way to phone it in, guys!

That's why, even though I've always hated USC, I couldn't be more behind Matt Leinart and Reggie Bush, because watching Tony and Mike pretend like they actually watched their games is so amusing! Also, an Angels/Cardinals or Astros World series would probably be another great low-TV rated series (order your DVD now, Tony).

Finally (take note, gentlemen), even though my Sox are out and I won't get the Sox/Yanks ALCS, I will continue to watch baseball. I know, it's incredibly radical thinking, but don't be afraid. Even though I picked Houston to win it all, I'm hoping the White Sox take the crown, pronouncing the Cubs the undisputed, ultimate all-time losers.

I love you, Wilbon, but watching an admitted Cubs fan trot out his Chicago South-Side upbringing whenever he wants to seem tough, it pretty pathetic. Why someone with obvious Chicago street cred would want to align himself with the yuppie post-
collegiate frat party that is Wrigley field borders on mental illness.


At 11:54 PM, Anonymous Brandon said...

I have never rooted for the Yankees in my life but this series I started to. You want to know why? Because I loathe the Anaheim Angels.

I just moved to LA from Seattle and quickly learned what jackasses Angels fans are. I haven't felt this way about a team or it's fans since I lived in Ohio and hated Ohio State with a passion, one that still exists today.

But now I can go back to hating the Yankees. They blew it. It figures. Just another reason to hate the Yanks. Go White Sox!

At 11:51 AM, Blogger CalvinPitt said...

I was reveling in the failures of Boston and the Yanks, for a couple of reasons. One, it gets some new blood into the ALCS, meaning they can't beat us over the head with the Yanks/Sawx rivalry. . . AGAIN.

Second, I'm a Cardinals fan and I figured we might finally get some air time, what with having the best record in baseball and the best young hitter (Albert Pujols, maybe the best hitter period) in the game. But nope, let's hear about "crazy" Ozzie Guillen, who admittedly can be pretty cool, or Roger Clemens, because he's OLD, and so him pitching relief was the most incredible feat in the history of mankind.

Hopefully, St. Louis will knock Houston out quickly, and Clemens will retire for real this time.

At 4:51 PM, Blogger Drew said...

Wishful thinking on the St. Louis getting more air time I'm afraid. St. Louis could win the next 10 World Series in a row and it still would get slightly less press coverage than an opening weekend series between Yanks v. BoSox.

As far as Angels fans. I could not agree more. Having spent some time in the O.C. recently, I can say without hesitation that those are some of the most ignorant, racist, homophobic, jesus-loving fuckwads to ever roam the earth. The only thing I like about Orange County is that it holds all those people where we can keep an eye on them. What a pity that cool players like Vlad Guerrero and Garrett Anderson have to play in such a uber-douche filled place...

At 6:06 AM, Blogger J Shifty said...

I'll tell you, since the Red Sox knocked themselves out of the ALDS I've actually enjoyed wathcing baseball more than I have all season.

As a Sox fan I assumed that constant, churning feeling of impending collapse in your stomach was just a part of baseball. The last two weeks I can just sit back and giggle as two teams I have no karmic investment in scratch and claw each others eyes out.


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