Thursday, June 16, 2005

More Phil conspiracies...

Rumor is, Jerry Buss said to Phil Jackson, "You either marry my daughter, or coach my basketball team!" -And here we are.

Actually, how 'bout this: Kobe Bryant aside, Phil wants to own a basketball team, and knows he'll end up marrying Jeannie Buss. So, what better way to "up" the inheritance than to lay on the good behavior by coaching this hapless team?

That way, instead of spending millions of dollars on a professional team, he simply lets nature "take its course" in the form of poisonous hair-weave glue toxins, seeping into in his father-in-law's skull.

I'm sure he hoped this would happen quickly, and without ever having to see Kobe Bryant's petulant face again, but sometimes we all have to make sacrifices. The old man's still got some kick! I bet the only time he checked the papers at all while in Australia was to see if his future father-in-law had croaked, leaving his future wife, his future team.

Besides, what better way to come into ownership of the Los Angeles Lakers than body surfing with Luc Longley? And how great would it have been to rush back to L.A., rush through a quickie wedding, rush to fire Mitch Kupchak and rush a Kobe Bryant (& some scrubs) for LaBron James trade?

-Those dreams could only be had in front of a late night Australian beach bonfire, getting Krunked out on Fosters and a trash bag of Haystacks Longley's Walkabout Skunk Weed.

"Phil, wake up!! You started talking and smiling in your sleep. What were you dreaming about?"

btw, check out the is "portrait" of Jeannie Buss, an obvious attempt by her father to curry Phil Jackson's favor:



At 10:27 AM, Blogger Mike said...

"Krunked out on Fosters"

now there is a nice mental picture


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