Saturday, May 14, 2005

Most Promising Newcomer of 1958!

Buddha bless Stat Boy yesterday for calling T. out on two pop culture references (Ruth Buzzi and J. Edgar Hoover), saying "This show would 'ave been huge in 1968!" Only problem is, it didn't deter Tone Def one bit, since we were all subject to hearing him name-check Judy Garland on today's episode (and you accuse Wilbon of having a man-purse!).

Can someone please let Tony know he's not opening up for Steve & Edie in the Birkshires? He seems to have a beautiful command of pop culture, but can we all pitch in and get him the 2005 upgrade?

While we're organizing surreptitious anti-establishment sports movements, I want everyone to petition the show, so a dying child might see his final dream (nevermind who that is, we'll fill in the blanks later). -We need to encourage the guys to use more familiar nick-names. They single-handily popularized the Donavan "F." McNabb craze, and I think they're way past due on another nickname, just waiting to be plucked. Simply put:

Richard Justice, of the Houston Chronicle becomes....(drum roll)...

Dick Justice!

Not only is it a great porn name (gay, or straight), but it will obviously catapult said Justice way ahead of his less deserving peers. No longer need we trifle with the likes of Dan Le Betard, Bob Ryan (who sucks), and Dan Shaughnessy. Where are their cool nicknames?

I think it's clear, Dick Justice is the greatest untapped nickname since Battlestar Galactica starred a very appealing Richard Hatch (Dick Hatch, to those in the know).

How's that for an out-dated pop culture reference, TK?


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